Family conflict is often about more than the issue being argued about.

Beneath anger, frustration, defensiveness or withdrawal there may be hurt, fear, rejection, disappointment, or a need to feel heard, valued or understood.

Families can become caught in familiar patterns. One person pursues, another withdraws. Someone becomes defensive, while another feels increasingly unheard. Over time, these patterns can become so familiar that it is difficult to see what is happening underneath them.

The more the cycle repeats, the harder it can become to find a way out.

My work with families is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and attachment-based principles, alongside other approaches where appropriate.

Rather than focusing on blame or deciding who is right or wrong, we explore the emotional patterns that develop between family members.

Together, we may explore:

• The cycle the family has become caught in
• What may be happening emotionally beneath behaviour
• How different family members experience the same situation
• Communication and emotional safety
• How patterns of conflict, withdrawal or defensiveness develop
• Ways of creating greater understanding, connection and repair

The aim is not simply to teach families how to communicate better. It is to help family members understand what happens between them and why they can become caught in patterns that leave everyone feeling disconnected.

Families can be affected in particular ways when one or more family members are neurodivergent.

Differences in communication, emotional regulation, sensory needs, expectations and ways of responding can sometimes lead to misunderstanding or conflict, even when everyone is trying their best.

My background in working with children, adolescents, adults and families, together with my experience in neurodiversity-informed practice, allows me to look beyond behaviour and consider what may be happening underneath it.

The goal is not to change a neurodivergent family member to fit a particular mould.

It is to help family members understand one another better, recognise different needs and ways of experiencing the world, and find ways of relating that support connection and respect.

Family therapy may be helpful when there is:

• Ongoing conflict or frequent arguments
• Difficulty communicating
• Emotional distance or withdrawal
• Parent–teen conflict
• Tension around boundaries or independence
• Anxiety, emotional regulation or behavioural difficulties
• Adjustment to a significant change or life event
• Family difficulties relating to neurodiversity
• Separation, loss or other transitions
• A sense that someone is consistently misunderstood or unheard
• A pattern of conflict that keeps repeating

Sometimes a family does not need to be in crisis. You may simply recognise that the way you relate to one another is no longer working as well as it once did.

When people feel heard, understood and emotionally safe, it becomes easier to communicate, regulate difficult emotions and repair relationships after conflict.

Family therapy is not about creating a perfect family.

It is about creating a family where people can feel safe enough to be themselves, communicate honestly and find their way back to one another when things become difficult.

Family therapy and couples counselling can sometimes overlap, but they focus on different relationships.

Couples counselling focuses primarily on the relationship between partners, exploring patterns of interaction, emotional needs, attachment and connection.

Family therapy looks at relationships and patterns across the family system. This might include parents and teenagers, adult family members, siblings or other combinations of family members.

If you are unsure which would be most appropriate, you are welcome to get in touch and we can talk about what is happening and where it might be helpful to begin.

You do not need to arrive knowing exactly what needs to change.

Family therapy can begin simply by understanding what has been happening, how each person experiences the situation and what you would like to be different.

The goal is not to find someone to blame.

It is to understand the pattern, and begin changing it together.